The Reasons Why by Princess Lauren

The Reasons Why

Princess Lauren

Slash

HRV

Ford/Arthur because I told Posie I'd write it for her, and I think I need to tape my fingers together rather than promise anyone anything else.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy characters belong to Douglas Adams (mayherestinpeace). Any CHAS members reading this... please don't kill me, Poet made me do it.

Dedicated to Poeie.

The Reasons Why

Princess Lauren

Marvin, who hadn't introduced himself, thinking it a waste of his non-existent breath, clanked ahead of Ford and Arthur as they walked along the apparently endless corridor. He was mumbling away, but neither of the other two were paying attention.

'Why me, anyway?' Arthur was asking Ford as they passed through the nineteenth doorway. 'Why pick me, of all the people you could've saved? Why not that blonde woman, Belinda whatshername?'

'She picked her nose,' Ford said, adding a sort of encouraging noise to make the robot think he was listening to it.

'Ergh.'

'And ate it.'

'That's revolting.'

'Nobody's perfect,' said Ford.

'What about the other blonde? Kelly, wasn't it?'

'Well, actually there was nothing wrong with her,' Ford admitted. 'Look, I picked you because you were there and because I knew you better than any of those women and because you were the only person I could think of who could actually drink three pints at lunchtime -- except for Moira, but she was at university.'

They walked on. Marvin scowled at a few more doors.

'It's not really that, is it?' Arthur asked.

Ford pretended innocence. 'I don't know what you mean.'

'You do. It's because of all the times you turned up at my place drunk.'

'I'd hardly say--'

'And,' Arthur went on, 'all the times you ended up sleeping in my bed because you said the sofa was too lumpy.'

'Well, maybe once or--'

'And,' Arthur said doggedly, 'all the times of those times that we ended up having sex.'

Marvin forgot all about the pain in the diodes down his left hand side.

'Come on Arthur, you said you didn't mind,' Ford said. 'And really, I don't think you did mind. You would've started locking your door if you'd minded. And we're here now anyway. How much further is it?' he added to Marvin.

'Not far,' Marvin said. 'I could calculate it in yards, metres, or millilightyears if you'd like,' he offered.

'That's okay,' Ford said.

'Ford. Don't change the subject. Did you or did you not bring me with you because if you get desperate I'll sleep with you?'

'You make good tea,' Ford said.

'Fo-ord.'

'Um?'

'Here we are,' Marvin said desultorily. 'Would you like me to keep quiet about your sexual proclivities to Zaphod, or will I just shut up and sit in the corner?'

'Zaphod?' Ford said.

'Yes.'

'Zaphod Beeblebrox?'

'Yes,' said Marvin. 'He's in there.' He cleared his throat unnecessarily and added, 'But I'm sure he won't mind if you two want to take a few more minutes to decide whether you want to come out to him or not.'

Ford looked at Arthur.

Arthur looked at Ford.

'I think...'

'...we should just shut up,' Arthur agreed.

'Absolutely.'

Marvin kicked the door when it thanked him for opening it. He hated humans.