Et tu, Pratchett? Isabelle's name borrowed from Juzbunny, who inspires me so very much.

Lady Ramkin's Lover

Princess Lauren

Chapter Six

'You've got to make a decision soon,' Sybil's friend Isabelle told her. They were sitting in Isabelle's kitchen drinking tea, which was not usually something Isabelle did, but upon learning of Sybil's situation she had announced that this was the sort of thing that needed tea.

Sybil was uncharacteristically silent, stirring a second sugar lump into her tea, watching the spoon rather than her friend.

Isabelle waited patiently. She had known Sybil for years, and knew that Sybil would make a decision... however, in this case, neither of them was sure what was the correct decision, which path the correct one to take.

'I just don't know what to do,' Sybil murmured at last. She looked at Isabelle, who was shocked to see tears forming in Sybil's eyes. 'I'm a terrible person.'

'Ah, now, you're not a terrible person,' Isabelle said. 'You're just not a very good wife.'

'You're very direct, and I appreciate that,' Sybil said, half-smiling. 'I just wish you could make my decision for me.'

'You're the only one who can do that, and you know it,' Isabelle said, dropping her light tone. 'You got yourself into this and it's your own job to get yourself back out. Or deeper in. Or whatever.'

Sybil uttered an shaky laugh. 'I know,' she said. 'It's just so hard.' She shook her head. 'But I do know what I've got to do. I've got to tell him it's over.'

'That's right,' Isabelle encouraged her. 'You know what to do.'

It wasn't until after Sybil had left, and Isabelle was putting their teacups back on their hooks, that she realised that Sybil had not specified which 'him' she was going to end things with.

Sybil and Sam had been together for a long time... at least, it felt that way. And of course they were more than just good friends, being married and all. Which hardly made things easier.

Sybil kept seeing Angua's face in her mind. She had talked to Angua when they were in Überwald, despite her own internal fears, and found her to be a charming young woman, quite the opposite of her mother, who was, to put it bluntly, a bitch*. She had even, after some thought, told Angua about the baby, and Angua had just smiled and wished her all the best... not so much with the baby as with managing to tell Sam about the baby.

And then she'd told him, and they'd had that nice time alone on the way home from Überwald, and she'd almost broken down and told him about Carrot then. But she couldn't do it. She just couldn't ruin the way he'd decided to turn around and be there for her, instead of running off to be with the Watch. She couldn't shatter his illusions.

Then there was Carrot. Against the odds, against all reason, he said he'd fallen in love with her, and she believed him. Could she shatter his illusions? Would it be any easier than breaking Sam's heart?

It hurt. It hurt so much that once Sybil even thought it might be easier if she didn't have to face it at all... but she couldn't take the coward's way out.

Isabelle kept encouraging her to speak up, as Sybil's baby grew inside her and she began to show. Havelock kept looking at her with an odd knowing gaze, direct and frightening. And Nobby avoided even speaking to her, which was strangely upsetting. Poor Nobby, being caught up in all this...

Then came the day when she found out just how much Nobby Nobbs knew.

'I can't stand this much longer,' Carrot said.

Sybil just blinked at him. They were lying in his bed at the Watch House. She could smell Angua's shampoo on the pillow. 'Can't stand what?'

'Not knowing where I stand.' His voice was gentle, but his eyes were serious. 'I don't know if your baby's mine, and I don't know whether you love me or...'

'I do love you!' Sybil realised she was being too loud and quieted her voice. 'I do love you,' she repeated, 'but I don't know what to do about Sam...'

'Do you love him?'

'I care about him... but I don't know any more.' How can I? You're the one who pays attention to me, you're the one who's lying here beside me... you're the one who loves me and shows it.

Carrot pushed the sheets back and got up, the faint light of the half-moon playing across his body. Sybil tried not to stare, but a smile brushed her lips. He really was very attractive.

'My lady, I love you, and I want you,' he said. 'Beyond that I don't know what else to say. But at least you know where I stand.'

It was a strange role reversal from that which Sybil had known before. Not first-hand... she had rarely opened her heart, save in a few forlorn, anonymous letters to recipients who had never reciprocated in any way. But Isabelle had worn her heart on her sleeve all her life, and Sybil had watched her pour out her feelings to boys (and later, men) who simply laughed.

She couldn't do that to Carrot. She couldn't reject his overtures, from this honest, open expression of his feelings to the tiniest stolen kiss.

Sybil got up and dressed silently, occasionally glancing at Carrot as he buckled on his breastplate. He complained about it sometimes, saying it restricted his movement, but she always pointed out that it was better to be a little restricted than to be a lot dead with an arrow (or Dwarfish beer stein) between the ribs.

They made their way downstairs, passing Nobby at the front desk (he ostentatiously averted his eyes as they passed), and out into the night.

Only to see, of all the unlikely sights imaginable, Samuel Vimes standing outside the front of the Watch House.

Well. It wasn't so much Sam's presence that was unlikely. It was the fact that he wasn't alone. Very much not alone. Sybil heard Carrot gasp, heard herself gasp, and felt her brain scrabble to find an explanation as to why her husband was locked in an embrace with Angua, kissing her deeply, passionately, his hands around her slim waist, holding her close, and Angua just as clearly returning the kiss.

'Angua!' Carrot exclaimed.

'Oh...'

Sam took a moment longer to realise who was standing there watching him. 'Sybil... I can explain.'

'I think we've all got a lot of explaining to do,' Sybil said, forcing her voice to come out firmly rather than quavering. 'And I think it had better be done right now, before anyone moves another step.'

When the four of them moved into the Watch House, Nobby took one look at them and dove under the desk.

'Nobby, did you say anything to Lady Ramkin?' Sam asked.

'No, sir,' came the almost inaudible reply.

'You mean he knew? He knew about you and...' Sybil refused to stoop to saying that bitch, considering that, at this stage, it would be the cauldron calling the potion octarine. 'Nobby!'

'Yes, m'lady,' Nobby muttered in an under-the-desk-and-staying-there sort of voice. 'But I didn't say anything about you either.'

Sam turned and looked at Sybil, comprehension dawning. 'That's why you're here, isn't it? You and Carrot...' His tone was more surprised than angry... at least for the moment.

'Yes, Sam,' Sybil said softly. 'As I said, we've got a lot of explaining to do.'

Colon came in at that moment and stopped short at the sight of all the people in the House. 'What's going on?' he demanded. 'Nobby, get out from there.' He bobbed his head at Sybil. 'Evenin', Lady Vimes...'

'Lady Ramkin will do nicely, thank you,' Sybil said. 'Sam, is there somewhere private we can all talk?'

The holding cell was cramped, but they managed, Sybil sitting on the bunk at the insistence of the other three. Sam had ordered Colon to manage things for a while and Colon had almost dreamily begun the night's work, starting off with dragging Nobby out from underneath the desk.

'Where do we start?' Angua asked, breaking the silence. 'Carrot...'

'I'm sorry,' Carrot said mechanically, not even looking at her.

'I think we're all sorry,' Sybil said, folding her hands in her lap.

'How could...' Sam realised the foolishness of even trying to finish that sentence. 'I...'

'All four of us have done this for some reason. Whatever our reasons are, maybe it should be enough that it's happened and that... that we take steps to... make new arrangements,' Angua said. Her face was pale, with hectic patches of colour high on her cheekbones. Sam was holding her hand, Sybil noted.

'That depends. Do you mind not knowing why?' Carrot asked.

Angua laughed; the sound was shrill and unlike her. 'I don't really think I want to know, Carrot,' she said. 'I'm sure you don't want to know my reasons either.'

That uncomfortable silence fell like a pall across the room again. None of them spoke or moved for what seemed an age.

'I'll go to your house and get my things,' Sam said at last, speaking to Sybil without looking at her. She felt her heart break a little. Is that all? Is that how it ends?

'Where will you go?' she asked.

'I'll stay here,' he said, looking surprised that she didn't know. 'Where else?'

He left the three of them staring at each other.

'I really am sorry,' Sybil said to Angua, who was leaning against the wall, her blonde hair obscuring her face.

'So am I,' Angua said. 'But if this is what was meant to happen... we can't argue with the gods.'

She was crying, and Sybil instinctively went to her and put her arms around her. Angua stiffened against her, then nestled her face against Sybil's shoulder.

'It's for the best, really,' she said, her thick sobs breaking the words. 'For the best...'

Neither of them noticed when Carrot left them alone in the cell. They were too caught up in the strangeness of the situation, in thoughts of how this would change their lives, turning everything upside down all over again.

'I don't hate you,' Angua said at last, lifting her head from Sybil's shoulder to look her straight in the eye. 'I don't hate you, although I could.'

'I don't hate you either,' Sybil said. 'I don't think I could. I'm not sure that in this situation we can do that.'

'Oh, we could,' said Angua. 'But it's easier if we don't.' She pulled away from Sybil and set to trying to clean the drying tears from her cheeks.

And to that, Sybil had no response.

Dear Isabelle,

Sybil.

*Only proving that I shouldn't work on this right after listening to any of Juzbunny's stories...

This fan fiction © Princess Lauren, princess.lauren.e@gmail.com